Facts
o kyoichi kanzaki
o 21
o male
o wandering artist
o penniless writer
o bohemian revolutionary
Ties
o hettar
o indercove
o tintedvision
o dikun
o breaking-rules
o bakainu
o badsketch
o chocolatedigestives
o mirrornlamp
o whatsayusayvicsay
o eatmejusteatme
o gssq
o kungfuzi
o mythomanic
o izobatically
o prettyboykeane
o ihatemyflatmate
o taffetawings
o philsophia
o yomamakickass
o boycalledvex
o nevillenah
o emelain
o uhohjungo
o cutepinkpiggy
o sinusg
o odacxvi
o red-cape
o moneypenny
o caruialiel
o coleochaete
o rainbowcoloredt
o jamesck
o blurp
o chengzhan
o randomtots
o swissnikira
o zai
o clocce
o oldskoolflavor
o allisonlives
o idledays
o neilgaiman
o belledejour
o callforfire
o tengqianxi
o dys
o callmefifianddielikeadog
o alfian
Chronicles
Regulars
o magicarchive
o pacnet
o survivorfire
o survivorfever
o newsintercom
o singapore-window
o jeffvarner
o buffyverse
o buffyworld
o funkygrad
o buffyscreenshots
o rebeccaguay
o nac
o sfs
o substation
o esplanade
o theartshouse
o srt
o qlrs
o thewritepages
o thedeadletteroffice
April 28, 2004
You'll never know what you've done for me.
What your faith in me has done for my soul.
You'll never know the gift you've given me.
I'll carry it with me.
Through the days ahead I think of days before,
And of the one who knew me better than anyone ever will again.
"Music Of My Heart" by Gloria Estefan, performed by John Stevens
You taught me to run, you taught me to fly,
Helped me to free the me inside.
Help me hear the music of my heart,
Help me hear the music of my heart.
You've opened my eyes, you've opened the door,
To something I've never known before.
And your love,
Is the music of my heart.
You tried your best; you're unique, and very talented. So here's to you.
What your faith in me has done for my soul.
You'll never know the gift you've given me.
I'll carry it with me.
Through the days ahead I think of days before,
And of the one who knew me better than anyone ever will again.
"Music Of My Heart" by Gloria Estefan, performed by John Stevens
You taught me to run, you taught me to fly,
Helped me to free the me inside.
Help me hear the music of my heart,
Help me hear the music of my heart.
You've opened my eyes, you've opened the door,
To something I've never known before.
And your love,
Is the music of my heart.
You tried your best; you're unique, and very talented. So here's to you.
April 25, 2004
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you feed your pussy cat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These rocks don't lose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!
"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend", by Leo Robin/Jule Styne, performed by Nicole Kidman
There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice, but get that 'ice' or else no dice.
He's your guy when stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
'Cos that's when those louses
Go back to their spouses!
DIAMONDS... ARE A... GIRL'S... BEST... Friend.
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat, or help you feed your pussy cat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But square-cut or pear-shaped,
These rocks don't lose their shape.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend!
"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend", by Leo Robin/Jule Styne, performed by Nicole Kidman
There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer
Thinks you're awful nice, but get that 'ice' or else no dice.
He's your guy when stocks are high,
But beware when they start to descend.
'Cos that's when those louses
Go back to their spouses!
DIAMONDS... ARE A... GIRL'S... BEST... Friend.
April 22, 2004
In a little while from now, if I'm not feeling any less sour,
I promise myself, to treat myself, and visit a nearby tower.
And climbing to the top, will throw myself off,
In an effort to, make it clear to who-
Ever, what it's like when you're shattered.
Left standing in the lurch, at a church, where people saying:
"My God - that's tough - she stood him up -
No point in us remaining -
May as well go home,"
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally.
- "Alone again (naturally)" by Gilbert O'Sullivan (1972)
To think that only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright and gay.
Looking forward to - who wouldn't do - the role I was about to play.
But, as if to knock me down, reality came around,
And without so much as a mere touch,
Cut me into little pieces.
Leaving me to doubt, talk about, God in His mercy,
Who, if He really does exist -
Why does He desert me?
And in my hour of need,
I truely am indeed,
Alone again, naturally.
It seems to me that there are more hearts broken in the world that can be mended, left unattended.
What do we do?
What do we do?
Looking back over the years, and whatever else that appears,
I remember I cried when my father died, never wishing to hide the tears.
And at sixty-five years old, my mother - God rest her soul,
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken.
Leaving her to start, with a heart so badly broken,
Despite encouragement from me,
No words were ever spoken.
And when she passed away,
I cried and cried all day.
Alone again, naturally.
Alone again, naturally.
I promise myself, to treat myself, and visit a nearby tower.
And climbing to the top, will throw myself off,
In an effort to, make it clear to who-
Ever, what it's like when you're shattered.
Left standing in the lurch, at a church, where people saying:
"My God - that's tough - she stood him up -
No point in us remaining -
May as well go home,"
As I did on my own,
Alone again, naturally.
- "Alone again (naturally)" by Gilbert O'Sullivan (1972)
To think that only yesterday, I was cheerful, bright and gay.
Looking forward to - who wouldn't do - the role I was about to play.
But, as if to knock me down, reality came around,
And without so much as a mere touch,
Cut me into little pieces.
Leaving me to doubt, talk about, God in His mercy,
Who, if He really does exist -
Why does He desert me?
And in my hour of need,
I truely am indeed,
Alone again, naturally.
It seems to me that there are more hearts broken in the world that can be mended, left unattended.
What do we do?
What do we do?
Looking back over the years, and whatever else that appears,
I remember I cried when my father died, never wishing to hide the tears.
And at sixty-five years old, my mother - God rest her soul,
Couldn't understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken.
Leaving her to start, with a heart so badly broken,
Despite encouragement from me,
No words were ever spoken.
And when she passed away,
I cried and cried all day.
Alone again, naturally.
Alone again, naturally.
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf.
I saw you holding hands,
Standing close to someone else.
Now I sit,
All alone,
Wishing all my feeling was gone.
I gave my best to you...
Nothing for me to do...
But have one last cry,
One last cry,
Before I leave it all behind.
I gotta put you out of my mind
The very last time.
Been living a lie.
"One Last Cry, by Brian McKnight, performed by Camile Velasco
I guess I'm down,
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry.
Are mending on the shelf.
I saw you holding hands,
Standing close to someone else.
Now I sit,
All alone,
Wishing all my feeling was gone.
I gave my best to you...
Nothing for me to do...
But have one last cry,
One last cry,
Before I leave it all behind.
I gotta put you out of my mind
The very last time.
Been living a lie.
"One Last Cry, by Brian McKnight, performed by Camile Velasco
I guess I'm down,
I guess I'm down...
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry.
I remember all my life
Rainin' down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
A face through a window,
Cryin' in the night,
The night goes into morning.
Just another day,
Happy people pass my way,
Looking in their eyes,
I see a mem'ry,
I never realized how happy you made me.
I'm standin' on the edge of time.
I walked away when love was mine.
Caught up this world,
Of uphill climbing.
The tears are in my mind,
And nothin' is rhyming,
Oh Mandy...
"Mandy", by Barry Manilow, performed by John Stevens
Well you came
And you gave without taking.
But I sent you away, oh Mandy,
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking.
And I need you today,
Oh Mandy.
Rainin' down as cold as ice.
Shadows of a man,
A face through a window,
Cryin' in the night,
The night goes into morning.
Just another day,
Happy people pass my way,
Looking in their eyes,
I see a mem'ry,
I never realized how happy you made me.
I'm standin' on the edge of time.
I walked away when love was mine.
Caught up this world,
Of uphill climbing.
The tears are in my mind,
And nothin' is rhyming,
Oh Mandy...
"Mandy", by Barry Manilow, performed by John Stevens
Well you came
And you gave without taking.
But I sent you away, oh Mandy,
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking.
And I need you today,
Oh Mandy.
April 20, 2004
Hey, what's happening, dude?
I'm the guy with the rep for being rude!
Terrorizing people wherever I go,
It's not intentional, just keepin' the flow.
Fixin' test scores to get the best scores.
Droppin' banana peels all over the floor.
I'm the kid that made delinquency an art,
Last name Simpson, first name Bart.
"Do The Bartman" (7F75), The Simpsons
I'm here today to introduce the next phase,
The next step in the big Bart craze.
I've got a dance real easy to do.
I learned it with no rhythm, and so can you.
So move your body if you've got the notion,
Front to back in a rock-like motion.
Now that you've got it, if you think you can,
Do it to the music: That's the Bartman.
Now I'm in the house, feeling good to be home,
'Til Lisa starts blowing that damn saxophone.
And if it was mine, you know they'd take it away,
But still I'm feeling good, so that's okay.
I'm up in my room, just a-singin' a song,
Listen to the kick drum, kickin' along.
Yeah, Lisa likes jazz. She's their number one fan,
But I know I'm bad, 'cause I do the Bartman.
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Everybody in the house do the Bartman...
I'm the guy with the rep for being rude!
Terrorizing people wherever I go,
It's not intentional, just keepin' the flow.
Fixin' test scores to get the best scores.
Droppin' banana peels all over the floor.
I'm the kid that made delinquency an art,
Last name Simpson, first name Bart.
"Do The Bartman" (7F75), The Simpsons
I'm here today to introduce the next phase,
The next step in the big Bart craze.
I've got a dance real easy to do.
I learned it with no rhythm, and so can you.
So move your body if you've got the notion,
Front to back in a rock-like motion.
Now that you've got it, if you think you can,
Do it to the music: That's the Bartman.
Now I'm in the house, feeling good to be home,
'Til Lisa starts blowing that damn saxophone.
And if it was mine, you know they'd take it away,
But still I'm feeling good, so that's okay.
I'm up in my room, just a-singin' a song,
Listen to the kick drum, kickin' along.
Yeah, Lisa likes jazz. She's their number one fan,
But I know I'm bad, 'cause I do the Bartman.
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman.
Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man.
Front to back, to the side, yes you can, can.
Everybody in the house do the Bartman...
April 19, 2004
And the Lisbon girls were always there before them. They had killed themselves over our dying forests, over manatees maimed by propellers as they surface to drink from gardens hoses; they had killed themselves at the sight of used tires stacked higher than the pyramids: they had killed themselves over the failure to find a love none of us could ever be. In the end, the tortures tearing the Lisbon girls pointed to a simple refusal to accept the world as it was handed down to them, so full of flaws.
"The Virgin Suicides" (1999), directed by Sophia Coppola
But this is all a chasing after the wind. The essence of the suicides consisted not of sadness or mystery but simple selfishness. The girls took into their own hands decisions better left to God. They became too powerful to live among us, too self-concerned, too visionary, too blind. What lingered after them was not life, which always overcomes natural death, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself. Her brain going dead to all else, but flaming up in precise moments of pain, personal injury, lost dreams. Every other loved one receding as though across a vast ice floe, shrinking to black dots waving tiny arms, out of hearing.
Then the rope thrown over the beam, the sleeping pill dropped in the palm with the long, lying lifeline, the window thrown open, the oven turned on, whatever. They made us participate in their own madness, because we couldn't help but retrace their steps, rethink their thoughts, and see that none of them led to us. We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm. And we had to smear our muzzles in their last traces, of mud marks on the floor, trunks kicked out from under them, we had to breathe forever the air of the rooms in which they killed themselves.
It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house, with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they were to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.
- Jeffrey Eugenides, "The Virgin Suicides" (1993)
"The Virgin Suicides" (1999), directed by Sophia Coppola
But this is all a chasing after the wind. The essence of the suicides consisted not of sadness or mystery but simple selfishness. The girls took into their own hands decisions better left to God. They became too powerful to live among us, too self-concerned, too visionary, too blind. What lingered after them was not life, which always overcomes natural death, but the most trivial list of mundane facts: a clock ticking on a wall, a room dim at noon, and the outrageousness of a human being thinking only of herself. Her brain going dead to all else, but flaming up in precise moments of pain, personal injury, lost dreams. Every other loved one receding as though across a vast ice floe, shrinking to black dots waving tiny arms, out of hearing.
Then the rope thrown over the beam, the sleeping pill dropped in the palm with the long, lying lifeline, the window thrown open, the oven turned on, whatever. They made us participate in their own madness, because we couldn't help but retrace their steps, rethink their thoughts, and see that none of them led to us. We couldn't imagine the emptiness of a creature who put a razor to her wrists and opened her veins, the emptiness and the calm. And we had to smear our muzzles in their last traces, of mud marks on the floor, trunks kicked out from under them, we had to breathe forever the air of the rooms in which they killed themselves.
It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house, with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they were to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.
- Jeffrey Eugenides, "The Virgin Suicides" (1993)
April 18, 2004
WILLOW: I can fix it. I know a spell.
TARA: No! No more spells.
I can't believe that we are talking about this again. You know how powerful magic is.
How dangerous. You could hurt someone, you... you could hurt yourself.
WILLOW: I know a spell...
TARA: (angrily) God, what is wrong with you?!
"Tabula Rasa"
Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.
WILLOW: Tara, I'm sorry, I-
TARA: Don't!
Just... don't. There's nothing you can say.
WILLOW: Tara, I didn't mean to-
TARA: To what? Violate my mind like that?
How could you, Willow?
How could you, after what Glory did to me?
WILLOW: Violate you? I... I - I didn't... mean anything like that.
I - I, I just wanted us not to fight any more.
I love you.
TARA: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
WILLOW: But I - I just wanted to make things better... Better for us.
TARA: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will!
We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
WILLOW: Okay. I'm... I realize I - I did it wrong.
TARA: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options.
You just... you just do a spell.
It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.
WILLOW: But I... I just wanna help people.
TARA: Maybe that's how it started, but... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking.
Including me.
WILLOW: Tara, no!
TARA: (tearfully) I don't think this is gonna work...
WILLOW: Hey! It is, it's working. Tara, please.
I need you, baby.
I need you.
TARA: I don't know, I just... think we both need some... I don't know, space.
Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this...
WILLOW: Are you saying you're gonna leave me?
TARA: No! No more spells.
I can't believe that we are talking about this again. You know how powerful magic is.
How dangerous. You could hurt someone, you... you could hurt yourself.
WILLOW: I know a spell...
TARA: (angrily) God, what is wrong with you?!
"Tabula Rasa"
Do you think I'm stupid? I know you used that spell on me.
WILLOW: Tara, I'm sorry, I-
TARA: Don't!
Just... don't. There's nothing you can say.
WILLOW: Tara, I didn't mean to-
TARA: To what? Violate my mind like that?
How could you, Willow?
How could you, after what Glory did to me?
WILLOW: Violate you? I... I - I didn't... mean anything like that.
I - I, I just wanted us not to fight any more.
I love you.
TARA: If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. You don't use magic to make a fight disappear.
WILLOW: But I - I just wanted to make things better... Better for us.
TARA: But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will!
We're in a relationship, we are supposed to decide together.
WILLOW: Okay. I'm... I realize I - I did it wrong.
TARA: You did it the way you're doing everything. When things get rough, you... you don't even consider the options.
You just... you just do a spell.
It's not good for you, Willow. And it's not what magic is for.
WILLOW: But I... I just wanna help people.
TARA: Maybe that's how it started, but... you're helping yourself now, fixing things to your liking.
Including me.
WILLOW: Tara, no!
TARA: (tearfully) I don't think this is gonna work...
WILLOW: Hey! It is, it's working. Tara, please.
I need you, baby.
I need you.
TARA: I don't know, I just... think we both need some... I don't know, space.
Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this...
WILLOW: Are you saying you're gonna leave me?
We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files;
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes.
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home.
And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know...
Wo wo wo...
God bless you, please Mrs. Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray...
Hey hey hey... hey hey hey...
"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel, theme from The Graduate (1967)
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes.
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes.
It's a little secret, just the Robinson's affair.
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids.
Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the candidates' depate.
Laugh about it, shout about it;
When you've got to choose,
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose.
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...
Woo woo woo...
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
"Joltin Joe" has left and gone away?
Hey hey hey... hey hey hey...
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes.
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home.
And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know...
Wo wo wo...
God bless you, please Mrs. Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray...
Hey hey hey... hey hey hey...
"Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel, theme from The Graduate (1967)
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes.
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes.
It's a little secret, just the Robinson's affair.
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids.
Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to the candidates' depate.
Laugh about it, shout about it;
When you've got to choose,
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose.
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...
Woo woo woo...
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson?
"Joltin Joe" has left and gone away?
Hey hey hey... hey hey hey...
April 17, 2004
How did I end up here?
Reading a book at the spectator seats, crossing my ankles, watching as youngsters whiz past on their hockey skates. I'm at the skating rink alone, passing by. Passing my life by.
Oh, why aren't I on the ice with them? When did I stop skating? Flying? Chasing my dreams? When did I give them up? Watching Disney's World on Ice as a child, I felt that was my true calling. And the first time I entered the rink on my allowance, friends told me I moved like a pro. So why aren't I one?
Yes, I remember. I never even started to learn. My parents coudn't afford the shoes, lessons, and practice time. Neither did they want a son with his fingers sliced off. No, their child must have ten working fingers, to work. Two working legs, to work. For what other good were legs and fingers for?
So skating and blading were out.
So were piano lessons and tuition.
No tennis or badminton rackets, basketballs or volleyballs.
Sport shoes were luxuries and should not be wore for less than five years.
Books should be borrowed, not bought.
Clothes more than S$20 should not be purchased.
Dreams should be shattered if they did not work. For what good were they?
And this is how I ended up here, my words my strongest weapon because they were the cheapest.
No dreams, because they never work.
Only nightmares. They do - they keep me running.
And watching the world from afar, as youngsters whiz past on their hockey skates.
Someday, when I get stronger, I will make the world pay for what it did to me.
And I will have the ice all to myself;
And I will learn to dream again;
And I will fly.
But even then, I'll still be at the skating rink alone.
Reading a book at the spectator seats, crossing my ankles, watching as youngsters whiz past on their hockey skates. I'm at the skating rink alone, passing by. Passing my life by.
Oh, why aren't I on the ice with them? When did I stop skating? Flying? Chasing my dreams? When did I give them up? Watching Disney's World on Ice as a child, I felt that was my true calling. And the first time I entered the rink on my allowance, friends told me I moved like a pro. So why aren't I one?
Yes, I remember. I never even started to learn. My parents coudn't afford the shoes, lessons, and practice time. Neither did they want a son with his fingers sliced off. No, their child must have ten working fingers, to work. Two working legs, to work. For what other good were legs and fingers for?
So skating and blading were out.
So were piano lessons and tuition.
No tennis or badminton rackets, basketballs or volleyballs.
Sport shoes were luxuries and should not be wore for less than five years.
Books should be borrowed, not bought.
Clothes more than S$20 should not be purchased.
Dreams should be shattered if they did not work. For what good were they?
And this is how I ended up here, my words my strongest weapon because they were the cheapest.
No dreams, because they never work.
Only nightmares. They do - they keep me running.
And watching the world from afar, as youngsters whiz past on their hockey skates.
Someday, when I get stronger, I will make the world pay for what it did to me.
And I will have the ice all to myself;
And I will learn to dream again;
And I will fly.
But even then, I'll still be at the skating rink alone.
Mmm... Billy Ray was a preacher's son
And when his daddy came to visit he'd come along.
When they gathered round and started talkin',
That's when Billy would take me walkin',
Through the backyard we'd go walkin',
Then he'd look into my eyes,
And - lord knows! - to my surprise:
"Son of a Preacherman" by Dusty Springfield, performed by Camile Velasco
The only one who could ever reach me - was the son of a preacherman.
The only boy who could ever teach me - was the son of a preacherman.
Yes he was,
He was...
Ooh, yeah...
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes.
Stealin' kisses from me on the sly.
Takin' time to make time,
Tellin' me that he's all mine,
Learnin' from each other's knowin',
Lookin' to see how much we're growin'!
The only one who could ever reach me - was the son of a preacherman.
The only boy who could ever teach me - was the son of a preacherman.
Yes he was,
He was...
Ooh, yeah... yeah.... yeah.
And when his daddy came to visit he'd come along.
When they gathered round and started talkin',
That's when Billy would take me walkin',
Through the backyard we'd go walkin',
Then he'd look into my eyes,
And - lord knows! - to my surprise:
"Son of a Preacherman" by Dusty Springfield, performed by Camile Velasco
The only one who could ever reach me - was the son of a preacherman.
The only boy who could ever teach me - was the son of a preacherman.
Yes he was,
He was...
Ooh, yeah...
How well I remember
The look that was in his eyes.
Stealin' kisses from me on the sly.
Takin' time to make time,
Tellin' me that he's all mine,
Learnin' from each other's knowin',
Lookin' to see how much we're growin'!
The only one who could ever reach me - was the son of a preacherman.
The only boy who could ever teach me - was the son of a preacherman.
Yes he was,
He was...
Ooh, yeah... yeah.... yeah.
This day and age we're living in, gives cause to aggravation.
So we must get down to earth at times; relax, relieve the tension.
No matter what the problem, or what may yet be proved,
The simple facts of life are such: they cannot be removed.
You must remember this:
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply,
As time goes by.
"As Time Goes By" by Herman Hupfeld, performed by John Stevens
Moonlight and love songs - never out of date.
Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate.
That no one can deny.
Well, it's still the same old story,
A fight for love and glory, a case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers,
As time goes by.
So we must get down to earth at times; relax, relieve the tension.
No matter what the problem, or what may yet be proved,
The simple facts of life are such: they cannot be removed.
You must remember this:
A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply,
As time goes by.
"As Time Goes By" by Herman Hupfeld, performed by John Stevens
Moonlight and love songs - never out of date.
Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man, and man must have his mate.
That no one can deny.
Well, it's still the same old story,
A fight for love and glory, a case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers,
As time goes by.
April 13, 2004
LELAINA PIERCE: Money? Oh, but what's money to an artist?
To a philosopher?
It's just - er - green coloured paper that floats in and out of his life like snow. It's not anything you actually have to - I don't know - work for, is it, Troy?
TROY DYER: No; not if you have daddy's little gas card...
LELAINA: You shut up, you shut up! I busted my ass to find a job.
Any job!
You won't even bother showing up for interviews!
TROY: What is it that you want from me, huh?
You want me to get a job on the line for the next 20 years, til I'm granted leave with my gold-plated watch and my balls full of tumors because I surrendered the one thing that means shit to me?
Well honey, you can just exhale, because it's not gonna happen.
Not in this lifetime.
LELAINA: Alright, fine! You don't want to work, fine! Don't...
TROY: Lainny!
LELAINA: Then beat it! Beat it, goddamn bad! Rehearse everyday - play three times a night!
Don't just dick around the same coffee house for five years!
Don't dick around with her, or with me!
I mean, try something for once in your life! Do something about it!
But you know what?
You better do it now, and you better do it fast, because the world doesn't owe you any favours.
And whether you know it or not, Troy, the 'inside track' to Loserville USA...
"Reality Bites" (1994)
Just like him.
To a philosopher?
It's just - er - green coloured paper that floats in and out of his life like snow. It's not anything you actually have to - I don't know - work for, is it, Troy?
TROY DYER: No; not if you have daddy's little gas card...
LELAINA: You shut up, you shut up! I busted my ass to find a job.
Any job!
You won't even bother showing up for interviews!
TROY: What is it that you want from me, huh?
You want me to get a job on the line for the next 20 years, til I'm granted leave with my gold-plated watch and my balls full of tumors because I surrendered the one thing that means shit to me?
Well honey, you can just exhale, because it's not gonna happen.
Not in this lifetime.
LELAINA: Alright, fine! You don't want to work, fine! Don't...
TROY: Lainny!
LELAINA: Then beat it! Beat it, goddamn bad! Rehearse everyday - play three times a night!
Don't just dick around the same coffee house for five years!
Don't dick around with her, or with me!
I mean, try something for once in your life! Do something about it!
But you know what?
You better do it now, and you better do it fast, because the world doesn't owe you any favours.
And whether you know it or not, Troy, the 'inside track' to Loserville USA...
"Reality Bites" (1994)
Just like him.
April 12, 2004
BUFFY: Will, you just have to rest, okay?
Right now, there's nothing you can do.
WILLOW: Yes there is.
BUFFY: No.
No way.
You cannot even think about taking on Glory!
"Tough Love"
WILLOW: You saw what she did to Tara!
I can't let her get away with it!
BUFFY: No, you have to let her get away with it. Even I'm no match for her, you know that!
WILLOW: But maybe I am.
BUFFY: You're not! And I won't let you go.
WILLOW: This is not your choice, it's mine.
BUFFY: This is not the time!
WILLOW: When, Buffy?
When is?
When you feel like it?
When it's someone you love as much as I love Tara?
When it's Dawn - is that it?
BUFFY: When we have a chance!
We'll fight her, when we have a chance.
You wouldn't last five minutes with her, Willow.
She's a god.
Right now, there's nothing you can do.
WILLOW: Yes there is.
BUFFY: No.
No way.
You cannot even think about taking on Glory!
"Tough Love"
WILLOW: You saw what she did to Tara!
I can't let her get away with it!
BUFFY: No, you have to let her get away with it. Even I'm no match for her, you know that!
WILLOW: But maybe I am.
BUFFY: You're not! And I won't let you go.
WILLOW: This is not your choice, it's mine.
BUFFY: This is not the time!
WILLOW: When, Buffy?
When is?
When you feel like it?
When it's someone you love as much as I love Tara?
When it's Dawn - is that it?
BUFFY: When we have a chance!
We'll fight her, when we have a chance.
You wouldn't last five minutes with her, Willow.
She's a god.
April 08, 2004
Don't post anything, don't say anything.
I never thought I'd get so upset over a TV show, but this is the most disillusioned I've been in months.
Now, it seems so clear.
All my life, I've been looking for the wrong things.
I should have sought companions, not friends.
Opportunities, not beliefs.
Pragmatism, not hope.
Money, not trust.
Mass production, not niches.
Profitability, not artistic merit.
A sedated conscience, not God.
Emotional satisfaction, not love.
Because I was hopefully - stupidly - looking for an original musician, artiste, vocalist, rhythmist, and forgot that America just wanted another Idol.
Now that's reality (TV).
When are you gonna come down?
And when are you going to land?
I'm not a present for your friends to open.
This girl's too young to be singing
The blu-u-es...
Ah...
Oh...
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John, performed by Camile Velasco
So goodbye yellow brick road,
Where the dogs of society howl.
You can't plant me in your penthouse -
I'm going back to my plough.
Back to the howling old owl in the woods,
Hunting the horny-back toad.
Oh I've finally decided where my future lies,
Beyond the yellow brick
Ro-o-ad...
Ah...
Oh...
Uh.
I never thought I'd get so upset over a TV show, but this is the most disillusioned I've been in months.
Now, it seems so clear.
All my life, I've been looking for the wrong things.
I should have sought companions, not friends.
Opportunities, not beliefs.
Pragmatism, not hope.
Money, not trust.
Mass production, not niches.
Profitability, not artistic merit.
A sedated conscience, not God.
Emotional satisfaction, not love.
Because I was hopefully - stupidly - looking for an original musician, artiste, vocalist, rhythmist, and forgot that America just wanted another Idol.
Now that's reality (TV).
When are you gonna come down?
And when are you going to land?
I'm not a present for your friends to open.
This girl's too young to be singing
The blu-u-es...
Ah...
Oh...
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John, performed by Camile Velasco
So goodbye yellow brick road,
Where the dogs of society howl.
You can't plant me in your penthouse -
I'm going back to my plough.
Back to the howling old owl in the woods,
Hunting the horny-back toad.
Oh I've finally decided where my future lies,
Beyond the yellow brick
Ro-o-ad...
Ah...
Oh...
Uh.
I remember when rock was young,
Me and Susie had so much fun.
Holding hands and skimmin' stones,
Had an old gold Chevy and a place of my own.
But the biggest kick I ever got,
Was doin' a thing called the Crocodile Rock.
While the other kids were rockin' round the clock,
We were hoppin' and boppin' to the Crocodile Rock.
"Crocodile Rock" by Elton John, performed by John Stevens
Well, Crocodile Rockin' is something shockin',
When your feet just can't keep still.
I never knew me a better time,
And I guess I never will.
Oh Lawdy mama, those Friday nights,
When Susie wore her dresses tight.
And the Crocodile Rockin' was ou-ou-ou-out of sight.
La...
La la la la la...
La la la la la...
La la la la la...
Me and Susie had so much fun.
Holding hands and skimmin' stones,
Had an old gold Chevy and a place of my own.
But the biggest kick I ever got,
Was doin' a thing called the Crocodile Rock.
While the other kids were rockin' round the clock,
We were hoppin' and boppin' to the Crocodile Rock.
"Crocodile Rock" by Elton John, performed by John Stevens
Well, Crocodile Rockin' is something shockin',
When your feet just can't keep still.
I never knew me a better time,
And I guess I never will.
Oh Lawdy mama, those Friday nights,
When Susie wore her dresses tight.
And the Crocodile Rockin' was ou-ou-ou-out of sight.
La...
La la la la la...
La la la la la...
La la la la la...
April 07, 2004
KATHERINE STRATFORD: I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
"10 Things I Hate About You" (1999)
I hate - I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
"10 Things I Hate About You" (1999)
I hate - I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.
April 04, 2004
"Beijing's cold heart" (The Sunday Times) by Goh Sui Noi
Whenever someone asks whether I like Beijing, I usually pause a long time before answering. There is a simple - or perhaps not so simple - reason why I can't make up my mind about this place. I have been here for more than a year now, and I still can't feel its core, its soul.
I can't feel a centre that pulls it all together, that makes sense of the discordant notes of life in this immense and sprawling city of 16 million, including three million unregistered residents.
The incessant honking of horns as vehicles bunch up at intersections refusing to give way to each other. The garish villas of the nouveau riche and the dark and dank basement flats of rural migrant workers. The shoving and pushing on the streets, in the trains and even in the lifts.
But while I can't feel the city's heart, I can feel its harshness.
The rough and ill-fitting suits of the rural migrant workers which they still put on during their weekends out. Rural migrant workers here and in other Chinese cities usually put on their best clothes on their days out not out of vanity, but to avoid being hauled up by the police and sent to detention centres for not having proper permits to stay in the city.
In the past two decades since farmers started to move to the cities in search of a better life, they have lived in fear of detention and repatriation to their home towns under a system that divides the population into urban and rural residents and which puts the latter at a disadvantage. It was not till the highly-publicised beating and death in detention last year of a university graduate migrant worker that the government changed its regulations to disallow forcible detention and repatriation of rural migrant workers.
I see the harshness in the unkindness and bullying between people.
I see it in a family with a young child having to choose between a windowless basement flat and an unheated, one-room apartment with a leaky roof because that is all they can afford. There are frequent quarrels between husband and wife. They work long hours and the daily struggle to keep their heads above water has left little room for tenderness.
I see it in the way people take advantage of others' kindness and in the lying and cheating to get ahead or simply to get by.
Beijingers tell me the problem with them is that they lack a set of beliefs. So money is their god and greed their creed. Much has been made of the death of the communist zeal with the Cultural Revolution and the mindless pursuit of wealth that follows.
Life is utilitarian and people connect with each other based on their mutual usefulness. A Taiwanese who studied Chinese music in Beijing recounted to me an incident that disturbed him deeply about Chinese society. When he invited a Chinese classmate to lunch, the latter reacted by asking him: 'What do you want from me?'
Those who are left behind by the more able who manage to get rich grow to resent the wealthy. They build what the Chinese call choufu, a hatred for the wealthy. They call the dubious means by which many of China's first tycoons make their pile the 'original sin'.
However, I would like to think that greed and the lack of a new set of values to replace the bankrupted communist ideology is just part of the story. The dizzying changes in this urban sprawl have meant that people have had to adapt to new ways of life very quickly. In the short span of 20 years, its residents have had to adapt to being looked after from cradle to grave by their government to having to fend for themselves. They have to look for jobs instead of being assigned one, find their own life partners instead of having their bosses help them make a match, look for a place to live instead of being given one and paying for it out of their own pockets. They also have to take care of their own retirement.
Some adapt well, some don't. But they are altered, for better or worse, by the often-disturbing changes in the environment, just as sojourners like me are altered by it.
I know a Singaporean who after five years here has decided to leave not because she does not like the city, but because of what she was becoming, an unpleasant person, in her own words. I still can't make up my mind whether I like Beijing or not - I'm still searching for its soul.
Whenever someone asks whether I like Beijing, I usually pause a long time before answering. There is a simple - or perhaps not so simple - reason why I can't make up my mind about this place. I have been here for more than a year now, and I still can't feel its core, its soul.
I can't feel a centre that pulls it all together, that makes sense of the discordant notes of life in this immense and sprawling city of 16 million, including three million unregistered residents.
The incessant honking of horns as vehicles bunch up at intersections refusing to give way to each other. The garish villas of the nouveau riche and the dark and dank basement flats of rural migrant workers. The shoving and pushing on the streets, in the trains and even in the lifts.
But while I can't feel the city's heart, I can feel its harshness.
The rough and ill-fitting suits of the rural migrant workers which they still put on during their weekends out. Rural migrant workers here and in other Chinese cities usually put on their best clothes on their days out not out of vanity, but to avoid being hauled up by the police and sent to detention centres for not having proper permits to stay in the city.
In the past two decades since farmers started to move to the cities in search of a better life, they have lived in fear of detention and repatriation to their home towns under a system that divides the population into urban and rural residents and which puts the latter at a disadvantage. It was not till the highly-publicised beating and death in detention last year of a university graduate migrant worker that the government changed its regulations to disallow forcible detention and repatriation of rural migrant workers.
I see the harshness in the unkindness and bullying between people.
I see it in a family with a young child having to choose between a windowless basement flat and an unheated, one-room apartment with a leaky roof because that is all they can afford. There are frequent quarrels between husband and wife. They work long hours and the daily struggle to keep their heads above water has left little room for tenderness.
I see it in the way people take advantage of others' kindness and in the lying and cheating to get ahead or simply to get by.
Beijingers tell me the problem with them is that they lack a set of beliefs. So money is their god and greed their creed. Much has been made of the death of the communist zeal with the Cultural Revolution and the mindless pursuit of wealth that follows.
Life is utilitarian and people connect with each other based on their mutual usefulness. A Taiwanese who studied Chinese music in Beijing recounted to me an incident that disturbed him deeply about Chinese society. When he invited a Chinese classmate to lunch, the latter reacted by asking him: 'What do you want from me?'
Those who are left behind by the more able who manage to get rich grow to resent the wealthy. They build what the Chinese call choufu, a hatred for the wealthy. They call the dubious means by which many of China's first tycoons make their pile the 'original sin'.
However, I would like to think that greed and the lack of a new set of values to replace the bankrupted communist ideology is just part of the story. The dizzying changes in this urban sprawl have meant that people have had to adapt to new ways of life very quickly. In the short span of 20 years, its residents have had to adapt to being looked after from cradle to grave by their government to having to fend for themselves. They have to look for jobs instead of being assigned one, find their own life partners instead of having their bosses help them make a match, look for a place to live instead of being given one and paying for it out of their own pockets. They also have to take care of their own retirement.
Some adapt well, some don't. But they are altered, for better or worse, by the often-disturbing changes in the environment, just as sojourners like me are altered by it.
I know a Singaporean who after five years here has decided to leave not because she does not like the city, but because of what she was becoming, an unpleasant person, in her own words. I still can't make up my mind whether I like Beijing or not - I'm still searching for its soul.
April 03, 2004
"The only way to watch this video (Rated R for language, violence, gore, Satanism and homosexual content) is to:
1. right-click,
2. 'save target as',
3. download (10MB, sorry!),
4. make sure you have media player"
("Down With The Sickness", by Disturbed)
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing,
Broken your servant I kneel.
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing... in me.
"Wrecked"
Looking at my own reflection,
When suddenly it changes,
Violently it changes.
Oh no, there is no turning back now.
You've woken up the demon... in me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift that has been given to me.
I can see inside you, the sickness is rising.
Don't try to deny what you feel.
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying... in me
It seems you're having some trouble -
In dealing with these changes,
Living with these changes.
Oh no, the world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon... in me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift that has been given to me.
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness has now come over me.
1. right-click,
2. 'save target as',
3. download (10MB, sorry!),
4. make sure you have media player"
("Down With The Sickness", by Disturbed)
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing,
Broken your servant I kneel.
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing... in me.
"Wrecked"
Looking at my own reflection,
When suddenly it changes,
Violently it changes.
Oh no, there is no turning back now.
You've woken up the demon... in me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift that has been given to me.
I can see inside you, the sickness is rising.
Don't try to deny what you feel.
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying... in me
It seems you're having some trouble -
In dealing with these changes,
Living with these changes.
Oh no, the world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon... in me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift that has been given to me.
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
And when I dream...
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You mother get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
You fucker get up; come on, get down with the sickness!
Madness has now come over me.
April 01, 2004
I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.
I've got so much honey - the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.
"My Girl" by The Temptations, performed by John Stevens
Well, I... guess... you'd... say...
What can make me feel this way?
My girl...
Talkin' 'bout my girl...
When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.
I've got so much honey - the bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.
"My Girl" by The Temptations, performed by John Stevens
Well, I... guess... you'd... say...
What can make me feel this way?
My girl...
Talkin' 'bout my girl...
For once in my life, I got someone who needs me.
Someone I needed for so long.
For once unafraid, I can go where life leads me.
Somehow I know I'll be strong.
"For Once In My Life", by Stevie Wonder, performed by Camile Velasco
For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of,
Long before I knew,
Someone warm like you,
To make my dreams come true!
For once in my life, I won't let sorrow hurt me,
Not like it's hurt me before.
For once I have something I know won't desert me,
'Cause I'm not alone anymore.
For once I can say: "This is mine - you can't take it!"
As long as I've got love, I know I can make it.
For once in my life,
I've got someone who needs me!
Someone I needed for so long.
For once unafraid, I can go where life leads me.
Somehow I know I'll be strong.
"For Once In My Life", by Stevie Wonder, performed by Camile Velasco
For once I can touch what my heart used to dream of,
Long before I knew,
Someone warm like you,
To make my dreams come true!
For once in my life, I won't let sorrow hurt me,
Not like it's hurt me before.
For once I have something I know won't desert me,
'Cause I'm not alone anymore.
For once I can say: "This is mine - you can't take it!"
As long as I've got love, I know I can make it.
For once in my life,
I've got someone who needs me!
With plenty of money and you.
In spite of the worry that money brings.
Just a little filthy looker buys a lot of things.
And I'd take you to places you like to go.
But outside of that, I've no use for dough.
It's the root of all evil,
Of strife and upheaval.
But I'm certain, honey,
life would be sunny,
With plenty of money and you.